I attended a Gabby Bernstein event Friday night with Yoga Journal Live after what felt like the longest day ever. I had a 45 min keynote in the morning that I was up at 5:30AM preparing for, and then I had six straight sessions back-to-back of drug and alcohol discussions with high school students at Dwight.
Gabby’s theme for the evening was True Power, facing resistance to live more fully and authentically.
I smiled through the whole event. I knew that I had done just that, faced resistance and stepped into my true power.
My talk with students, entitled “Born For This,” was all about facing fears, cultivating intuition, and claiming your power, all things I talk and write about all the time.
And yet, I realized, here all this time I’ve been hiding. Stepping onto that stage Friday was like a coming home. I’ve been talking about doing more keynotes since, I don’t know, ’08.
Sure, I’ve been honing talent in Toastmasters and improv classes here in NYC, making baby steps. But ever since I made the serious commitment to make this part of my work in the world by taking Josh Shipps Youth Speaker University, I’ve made little progress in this department–even though I have sufficient evidence of effort and then, of course, a long list of excuses.
Even once this gig was booked, I couldn’t bring myself to get my talk organized. I procrastinated like a methodical pro up until the very last minutes.
The irony is that I had done several talks as a teacher and coach years ago, no problem. It wasn’t until I got the inclination that this is what I was meant to do in life that I freaked the eff out!
Oh wait, I was born for this?
I’d been begging for years to be given some guidance on what it was that I was meant to do in the world, and here I’d gotten my telegram, well, at least a sure inner knowing.
“Tell your story,” were the words I heard. That was in 2008’r 9.
There was no mistake in that it meant get on stage somehow. I’d “told my story” only once before at a senior retreat a couple years prior and it had been a poignant experience for both me and the audience.
I became obsessed with collecting ideas for topics, jokes, stories all in a little notebook I carried with me at all times. This pit of fear though kept my feet in the mud, dragging behind.
I had known since high school that the place I felt most exhilarated and terrified was the stage, even though I’d been a terrible drama student, and yet something about it kept calling me back.
If we were to map out the path I’ve taken since to show my progress toward this goal it would be the most beat around the bush scenic route one could have ever plotted.
I’ll give you a glimpse:
2009-2011: Got into performance poetry, which got me back on stage.
2009-2010: Began writing short stories. Some of which would later become chapters of my book.
2011-2012: Wrote my book, I Think I’ll Make It.
2013: Published said book & attended Youth Speaker University
2014: Began my blog: The Year of Magical Dreaming, which I still write daily here at kathurley.com
2015: weekly Toastmasters meetings & Improv classes & speakers competitions
2016: Podcast (coming soon!)
I know what my business coach wife would say about this: focus!
To which, as a mindfulness coach, I would argue: all movement is momentum; forward, backward, sideways;)
My favorite excuse: “I’m an incubator!”
Well, thanks to Gabby, although there wasn’t much denying, the resistance has been called out.
What motivates me most: Others miss out on the message when I hide.
That and …
now I’ve told you!
I leave you with this: What are you resisting?
We did a resistance meditation to this song Lapsley: Painter. #divine